Mask? Reveal?

Sometimes I smile, Sometimes I want to frown
Not that this is really what I want to do,
Or better still, not what I should do.
I feel I need to own up and just shout it out.

My facial expressions should reflect what I truly feel inside.
I cannot frown for long, neither can I not smile for long,
Thus smile is what I mostly do
That’s why I like the word smile.

There’s something I miss so much,
I miss as once had it,
Now I’m not sure if it’s gone,
The tell-tale signs are not there.

The way I miss it I sometimes thought I’d go crazy,
I had been so much used to it,
I think I sometimes took it for granted.
I still miss it so as I feel I need it .

As there’s something missing,
Then this could be the reason I smile often,
Though at times it ends up being a mask,
Closing off what I feel inside.

Do not get me wrong,
I do not wear this mask often,
It almost feels part of me,
For I feel I can no longer do without the mask.

Deceit is far from my intentions,
Pain is nearer where I stand,
I used to have something,
And now it’s gone.

Maybe it’s still there,
Trying to show it’s light through the mask,
How can I know unless I take off the mask,
Yet how can I reveal all this to everyone?

I will unmask one day,
To reveal what I am,
Maybe by then,
I truly will be smiling.